It is more than obvious to anyone who has studied the life, career and meteoric rise of Barack Hussein Obama II to the oval office as the 44th president of the United States of America that something just isn’t right. Denmark never smelled as fishy as the United States does now.
Conspiracy theories abound, but none may be truthier than this.
Fact: Obama became an initiated member of the secret society that operates out of Occidental College in Los Angeles while attending college there while pursuing a liberal arts degree. Our research reveals that the name of that secret society is “The Sacred Mystical Order of the Inter-dimensional, Time-space Cheerio Timepiece.” Most, if not all illegal aliens from the planet Cheerio attend Occidental for at least part of their college careers, and there are brought into the fold of that secret society and are given a peculiar watch with a Cheerio embedded in it. Its purpose is not yet fully understood, but there is ample reason to be suspicious.
Fact: The Cheerio order worships the shape of a Cheerio, and uses the letter “O” often in their communications. Is it some kind of code? It is only a matter of time before it will be cracked. At Obama’s Wikipedia page alone, we counted the repetitive use of the letter “o”, in both upper and lower case form, exactly 1,372 times, not including footnotes. Obama was supposedly born in Honolulu. Note: Two o’s in Honolulu. That should give everyone pause.
It is thought that the timepieces worn by members of the order are communication devices that enable its initiates to communicate with the overlords of planet Cheerio, where as we speak, an invasion of earth is being planned. Though we can’t know for sure at this stage of our investigation, it is strongly believed that the Cheerio-ians are coming to invade and turn everyone gay and require that all Americans eat more sensibly and in smaller portions, and be forced to read the collected works of John Steinbeck.
Never trust a liberal arts major.
This article will be updated as more of this conspiracy is uncovered.